


Here's to a secret I'll never tell

by Blueeyedblakes



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Engagement, F/M, M/M, Panic Attack, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 12:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3977671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blueeyedblakes/pseuds/Blueeyedblakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy and Clarke have known each other for almost six years and are now engaged after two years of dating, but there’s a catch. No one knows they've been dating, actually everyone thinks the pair are always one step away from starting world war three. What's going to happen when they finally tell the truth?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke woke up to the glorious smell of pancakes and someone playing with the ends of her blonde curls that were splayed out on the pillow. Smiling gently she opened one eye to look up at her boyfriend. 

‘Morning princess’, Bellamy greeted her, with a sweet morning kiss.

Sitting up Clarke noticed a blue mug filled with coffee on the bedside table, grabbing it she practically inhaled the entire thing before letting out a content sigh. Chuckling Bellamy passed her a plate of pancakes covered in a layer of maple syrup and fresh berries, just the way she likes it. Clarke’s heart clenched slightly at this small gesture, deciding that she could wake up every morning like this forever. 

‘Looks like the princess has an appetite but to be fair after last night’s activities I’m not surprised’, this earned him a playful slap in the chest. Sitting cross legged on top of the covers in only one of Bellamy’s shirts, Clarke placed her empty plate on the bedside table next to her mug. She could here Raigns cover of ‘Knocking on heaven’s door’ playing from the music system in the living room. A breeze coming in from the window was blowing bits of her hair into her face. 

Clarke looked over to Bellamy, who was massaging her feet whilst leaning against the wall, ‘Bell, could you please shut the window behind you, sorry I’m getting hair in my mouth’. 

‘Yeah, sure thing babe’, dropping Clarke’s feet back onto the bed he stood up and walked over to the window. Looking up at the sky he grabbed the window sill, and took a deep breath. Come on Blake, you can do this, calm the fuck down, he thought to himself. 

As Bellamy turned around walking back to her Clarke couldn’t but help to admire Bellamy’s body. His tracksuit bottoms hung low on his hips, so that she could easily see his impressive V-line, his solid abs and shoulder muscles flexed slightly as he thrust his hands deep into his pockets.

Bellamy smirked, ‘Like what you see princess?’

Clarke throw back her head laughing, ‘Jeez Bell, we’ve been dating for two years now, you know I like what I damn well see! Now get over here, I wanna morning cuddle’. 

As he got closer to Clarke, Bellamy’s anxiousness became evident on his face. Finally he stood next to the bed, grabbing her small, pale, feminine hands in his big, tanned, rough ones and brought them to his lips to place a slight kiss on them. Clarke was now sitting on her knees looking up at him; a small crease in her forehead had formed due to his strange body language, she just couldn’t understand what had him so worked up.

‘Hey what’s wrong?’

Letting out a big, deep breath Bellamy looked his girlfriend straight in the eye, ‘Clarke Griffin I love you!’ 

Laughing again she told him that she loved him too, shaking her head slightly at his antics.

‘No, no I mean. Clarke Griffin, I love you, like more than I have ever loved anyone my whole life. You make me laugh when I’m in a grump, help me to calm down when I’m about to start a war. You practically barged your way into my life, never taking any of my shit and demanding that I listen to what you had to say. You became Octavia’s best friend, worked insane hours to become a doctor and have overcome and exceeded all expectations, destroying anyone who even doubted you for a second. I love you and I have been so happy being able to call you my girlfriend but that’s not enough, not anymore.’ 

At this Clarke’s face fell and tears started to form in her eyes, ‘So what? You’re just going to dump me and move on to someone more exciting and interesting?’

‘What! Oh god no! No, no Clarke I mean I … fuck it.’ Kneeling down on one knee Bellamy let go of one of Clarke’s hands to pull out a small velvet box from his pocket. Opening it to reveal an elegant diamond ring, ‘Oh my god’ Clarke gasped, as she covered her mouth with one of her hands. 

‘Clarke Griffin will you marry me?’ Holding his breath Bellamy waited for his princess’s answer, which he promptly got as she flung herself at him crying out yes. Wrapping her arms tightly around him   
Clarke burst into tears whilst laughing into the crook of his neck. Bellamy slid his large arms around her waist, pressing his face into her hair and breathing in her smell. 

Several minutes later the pair disentangled themselves, so that Bellamy could slip the ring onto her finger. They lost themselves in their own little world for the rest of the morning, simply finding joy in just being together and the prospect that their together could be forever. 

Just before midday the couple where forced back into reality, when they heard Octavia banging on Bellamy’s door demanding to be let in. 

‘Shit, shit, shit! I’ve got to hide. Crap ok you take her into the kitchen, distract her and I’ll sneak out the front door, ok?’ Clarke shout whispered running into Bellamy’s bedroom to hurriedly get into some clothes. 

‘Jesus Christ Clarke. We’re getting fucking married; I think it’s about time we told everyone!’ Bellamy blurted out sounding rather exasperated. 

‘Yeah, I know Bell but do you honestly think this is the best way to find out! Come on, well call for a S.O.S. meeting this afternoon and tell them, yeah?’ Pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, Clarke carried on changing as quickly as possible grabbing all of her stuff. 

‘Hmm, you’re probably right. It’s going to be a damn weird conversa….’

‘BELLAMY FUCKING BLAKE OPEN THIS GODDAMED DOOR THIS MINUTE BEFORE I BREAK IT DOWN.’

‘I’m coming O, just a sec!’ he smiled at Clarke before opening the door to greet his baby sister, who happened to look extremely pissed off. 

……………………………………………………………………….

Looking through the crack in the bedroom door, Clarke watched her boyfri- fiancée, she grinned at the thought, open the door to his little sister and her best friend, Octavia Blake. The girl was a force of nature to be reckoned with and was also one of the reasons that Clarke and Bellamy were in a secret relationship. 

Clarke couldn’t help but worry about what would happen when they told all of their friends, especially Octavia. The problem was that none of her and Bellamy’s friends, whom they counted as family, actually knew they had been dating. To be honest all of their friends thought that the pair had some sort of blood feud, with how well they pretended to hate each other.

At first, they had hated each other, always fighting and getting at each other’s throats, but after an awkward dinner with her mother, that had turned into a verbal beating as Abby scolded Clarke’s life choices. Clarke had gone over to the Blake’s crying, looking for Octavia. Instead, she was met with the older Blake, who just took the little blonde into his large arms and comforted her for the rest of the evening, until he had her in stitches laughing her ass off whilst binge watching Marvel. 

This had eventually turned into a deep trusted friendship which progressed into a passionate relationship, but deciding that it was easier they kept it a secret at least to start with. Now, two years later, they were engaged and their friends still had no clue whatsoever. 

Clarke was thrilled to be telling her friends but also absolutely petrified. It was going to be a very interesting day, to say the least.

As Octavia entered the kitchen, her blonde friend snuck out the door and headed home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is a panic attack in this chapter, so if you don't want to read that, you should just skip this chapter!

Clarke swung the apartment door open, walking in with a slight skip in her step, overjoyed from the absolutely brilliant day she was having so far. Dumping the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter she started to unpack all the snacks, which were going to be essential for a group get together this evening. A head popped up over the back of the sofa looking across the open plan living room/kitchen/dining room, eyes narrowing at the sight of her tiny, blonde friend practically glowing. 

‘Hey Clarke, so where have you been since last night?’ Raven asked, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow. ‘Last time I saw you, you were looking like one hell of a hot bombshell, ready to destroy hearts. If I remember correctly you then started damn shouting something about needing to get laid immediately’. Jumping over the back of the sofa Raven straight towards Clarke, ‘and no one stays with a simple one night stand until what is it? ... three in the fucking afternoon!’ 

By this point Clarke had started to fidget with the hem of her shirt, it was one of her nervous ticks when she was hiding something and Raven most definitely knew what it meant. 

‘Hah! You are seeing someone! O and I have been debating over it for like the last couple of weeks. I mean it was just the way you were acting, always running out to the bar without us to ‘’get laid’’ and refusing to tell us anything’. Clarke couldn’t help but laugh quietly to herself at the fact that her friends had only just started to realise that she was seeing someone, took them long enough. 

Clarke smiled shyly, ‘Well, yeah. I mean I am seeing someone, ummm yeah, it’s actually getting sorta serious’. Understatement of the century Clarke thought to herself whilst biting the inside of her cheek to stop the laughter from coming out. 

Sitting on one of the tall kitchen counter stools Raven whooped, fist bumping the air, ‘Called it! God Clarke you are so not that subtle’. Rolling her eyes, tucking a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear she reached over to grab an apple from the fruit bowl. As she grabbed the apple to the right of Raven, Clarke realised to her utter shock that she had forgotten to take of the engagement ring. The beautiful diamond ring with blue sapphire pear side stones on the white gold band was hard to miss against the red of the fruit. 

Falling off the stool the tall brunette grabbed her friend’s hand, ‘OH MY FUCKING GOD! YOU’RE ENGAGED?’ Raven stood staring at the ring before aiming a full out glare at the slack jawed Clarke. She could try and say something about how it was an expensive gift from her mother but Raven knows that she hasn’t spoken to her mother in almost a year and no one wears a drop dead gorgeous ring on their left ring finger unless obviously they’re getting married. 

‘Uhhh, I … I … I mean … well, I just ummm god uhh I.. I ….. yeah?’ Clarke stuttered the last part came out sounding more like a question than a statement. 

‘What the hell? Nope, wait, nope I don’t want to hear anything you have to say until O gets here!’ Still gripping her hand tightly Raven pulled her phone out of her back pocket and was ringing their other friend before Clarke could even think about protesting. 

‘Hey Rav, what’s up!?’ Octavia’s voice came through the phone pressed tightly against her friend’s ear, who still staring her down. 

‘Octavia, it’s an emergency.’ 

‘I’m really busy though, can it wait?’

In the most deadly calm voice Raven practically whispered into the phone, ‘Nope, it’s a nuclear war level emergency. Get. Home. Now.’ With that the Latina hung up the phone, and dropped Clarke’s hand to rub her temples, which she only did when really, really, really stressed.

 

…………………………………………………………………………………

By the time O had stormed into the apartment, breathing heavily demanding to know who had died, her two friends were precariously sat on opposite each other on the sofa in an awkward silence. 

‘Guys seriously what the hell is wrong? I basically just ran all the way here due to being informed of an emergency more important and urgent than any important and urgent emergency ever!’ She suddenly stopped, panting heavily from the exercise, sensing the tension that hung heavily in the air. 

‘Well our friend here has a tiny winy little announcement to make’, Raven said her voice strained. 

Turning to Clarke who was looking rather upset Octavia asked, ‘Well?’

After stuttering on a few words Clarke finally just decided on holding out her left hand to show O the engagement ring.

Jaw hanging down she stared at the ring. ‘What. The. Fuck?’ Octavia screeched.

‘Ok now that O’s here, spill. I would like you to explain how is it that your two bestest friends ever didn’t know that you were dating someone seriously enough to get engaged. Also you can’t have been dating them long enough to actually consider getting engaged, it’s way too early.’ Raven started to raise her voice obviously getting rather frustrated about not knowing anything. ‘Who is it? We want to meet him. I also want you to tell us why we aren’t deemed important enough for you to tell us anything whatsoever!’ Both of Clarke’s friends look offended and let down that neither of them knew about her relationship. 

This definitely wasn’t how Clarke pictured telling them but she couldn’t just ignore them, ‘Look guys, I swear it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, you two are my family by everything but blood. I really did want to but it was so complicated, especially at the beginning and it was just never the right time. You’re my best friends, of course I wanted to sit and rant about all the amazing dates we had, how mind blowing the sex was and literally just annoy you with how in love with him I am.’ 

‘How could it possibly not be the right time? I thought we could tell each other anything. Also, how long have you been dating? It’s obviously longer than either Rav or I suspected.’ Clarke hung her head in shame from hearing the pain in Octavia’s voice. 

‘I know, I know and I’m sorry for not telling you but he’s coming round this evening. We honestly did plan on telling everyone, or at least you guys, several times but things sort of got in the way and we really didn’t want to mess anything up.’ 

‘Ok fine but how long have you officially been dating?’ Raven asked. 

‘Uhhh, officially well umm, ok soo like officially it’s around two years now.’

‘WHAT?’ both of Clarke’s friends screamed. 

‘How the hell is it that we haven’t met him then’, Raven demanded. 

‘Well actually, you both have met him but can we postpone the questioning until he gets here, I really think we should both be here.’ 

‘Wait we’ve met him? God, Clarke’ O took in a big deep breath to calm herself before continuing, ‘Fine you go call him and I’ll get the rest of the gang to come over ok? I think we’re going to need everyone here for this.’ 

Clarke responded with a barely audible whisper of ok, relieved that she was not about to be grilled on her love life without Bellamy. She went into her room to call Bellamy and explained what just happened. 

……………………………………………………………………..

Clarke got up off her bed, where she had stayed after hanging up with Bellamy, when Jasper and Monty knocked on their door. Curling up in the corner of the sofa, clutching a pillow Clarke waited until everyone had arrived. 

Miller was sat in the massive armchair with Monty practically in his lap, listening to Jasper who was currently using wild arm and hand gestures to explain how he accidently blow up the kitchen sink … again. 

Lincoln and Wick arrived within a minute of each other, looking rather confused as to why they had been called her at such late notice. After everyone was settled Wick started to question what was so important that a group meeting was required pronto. 

Octavia laughed sarcastically, ‘Well guys, Clarke here has been keeping something a secret, or should I say someone a secret and we need backup for when he arrives.’ 

‘Oooo, your dating someone?’ Monty practically cooed. 

‘Nope’ Raven answered, popping the ‘p’. 

Miller sat frowning looking around at everyone, ‘So would you care to explain what is actually going on then.’ 

‘No Clarke isn’t dating anyone because she’s engaged’.

A chorus of gasps and questions sprung up all over the room, ‘What?’ ‘Oh my god’ ‘How come we didn’t know?’ ‘Isn’t it too soon?’ ‘Are we going to meet them?’

By now Clarke was starting to get quite worked up, she could feel a lump forming at the back of her throat. Octavia and Raven were her family, they had always been there and now she was so worried that she was about to lose them forever. This was supposed to be an amazing day, full of happiness and congratulations but it didn’t seem to be going quite according to plan. 

Keeping her voice calm, trying to not let anyone know how scared she was Clarke looked up at the group before answering, ‘Well, we’ve been dating for around two years. We didn’t tell anyone because it was just not the right time and yeah he’s coming over now’. 

‘Wait, I just remembered you said we all have already met him, yeah?’ Raven questioned turning to Clarke. 

‘Uhhh, yeah, you have …’

‘Oh god, it’s not, are you, jeez I really hope it’s not who I’m thinking of’ Clarke held her breath as her friend became silent for a bit. ‘It’s not Finn is it? Please don’t tell me it’s Finn.’ 

She laughed in horror at the prospect of ever being engaged to that douche bag, ‘Jeez no, not if he were the last man alive.’

Octavia actually smiled at that, ‘Good, ok well that rules out seven guys we know of who she could be engaged to. It can’t be Linc or Wick ‘cause well, they’re devastatingly in love with us’, she winked at Raven. ‘Monty and Miller are both out as well because a) they’re gay and b) we went to their wedding, it can’t be Jasper because well he’s in a relationship with Maya. I doubt it’s a girl because you have said he several times when referring to your mystery fiancée and you just assured us that it’s not Finn.’ 

Lincoln contemplated what his girlfriend had stated, ‘Babe, that’s only six guys’. 

Clarke suddenly looked at Octavia dreading what she was suspecting was about to come out of her mouth, ‘Yeah and Bellamy.’ Clarke cringed internally at this, ‘Let’s be honest they hate each other.’ The rest of the group laughed at the absurdity of the idea. 

Clarke’s breathing became jagged and her head pounded as the world around her started to fade in and out of focus. What if Octavia got really mad and forced them to break up? What would happen if Raven got even more pissed off and refused to speak to her? Would Monty and Jasper be disappointed? God what if Miller thought she wasn’t good enough for Bellamy? Would Bellamy suddenly realise that he didn’t actually love her and demand the ring back? 

Clarke grabbed Raven’s hand tightly, ‘Rav, please, Rav I … I’m … help’, tears were now streaming down her face and air was refusing to enter her lungs. Both Octavia and Raven turned immediately realising that their friend was going into a panic attack, they both had practise with helping her through them but it was never easy. 

The two girls moved the small blonde into the middle of the sofa and sat either side of her, hugging her trying to block everything out, in the gentlest of voices they tried to bring her back, telling her to focus on breathing. Nothing they said even registered in Clarke’s mind as a whirlwind of worries and lack of oxygen dragged her further into the nightmares of her own mind. 

………………………………………………….

Bellamy walked into the girls’ apartment, after Jasper answered the door, to find the three girls sat on the sofa as everyone watched with worried expressions. Bellamy had helped his girlfriend out of many panic attacks over the course of the past two years. It was never easy to see Clarke who was always so on top of things and happy to completely fall apart. He needed to get everyone out of the room before he could help her, ‘Everyone, out. Now.’ His voice held no room for excuse. 

Clarke’s head snapped up, only just registering his presence, her crystal blue eyes shone with tears and he could hear her internally screaming as all the thoughts wreaked havoc in her head. 

Everyone except Octavia and Raven got up to go and sit in one of the girls bedrooms, sending worried glances to Clarke before they left. Walking into the middle of the floor he sat down cross-legged in front of the sofa and opened his arms to her, Clarke practically flew into his embrace from where she had been sitting in between her two friends. Wrapping his arms around her small frame, he leant his head down so that his mouth was by her ear. He blocked out the rest of the world for her, ‘Hey, hey it’s going to be fine but first I’m going to need you to breath, copy my breathing, there we go, concentrate on just breathing ok. Put your hands on top of my heart, feel the rhythm, that beating, it never stops.’

Bellamy looked up to see a mixture of shock and confusion over Raven and Octavia’s faces; they also looked devastated, neither girl liked to see her in such distress and emotional turmoil. With his eyes he signalled that they should also leave the room so that he could concentrate solely on helping Clarke. 

……………………………………………………………..

Once she had finally calmed down enough, Clarke leant out slightly to look up into Bellamy’s face, ‘Hey princess, you feeling better?’ Nodding in response, she whispered a thank you as he placed a kiss on her forehead. 

‘So, you up to talking to everyone now, can I call them in?’ Bellamy asked. 

‘Yeah, sure, we can’t really put it off any longer can we’, Clarke pointed out. 

Clarke sat back up on the sofa, as Bellamy went to call everyone into the living room. 

Raven and Octavia ran straight to Clarke’s side pulling her into a massive group hug, ‘hey, you feeling better? Are you going to be ok? Do you want ice cream?’ All her friends knew that nothing made Clarke feel better than a tub of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate fudge brownie ice cream.

Laughing slightly Clarke shook her head and assured them that she was fine; Bellamy came and sat down next to her on the arm of the sofa. As everyone got back into their positions Jasper decided questions needed to be answered, ‘Ok, so is anyone going to ask how Bellamy here was able to help his arch enemy out of an attack? Like don’t you hate each other, how did you know what to even do?’

Octavia hummed in agreement, ‘Yeah, also Clarke wasn’t exactly holding back when Bell sat down in front of her.’

Jasper’s face literally lit up like a light bulb as an idea popped into his head, ‘Wait, wait, wait hoooold up! Are you and Clarke like secretly actually friends? Do you know who she is engaged to?’

Utter disbelief at how oblivious everyone seemed to be was written all over Bellamy’s face. 

‘I would goddam hope so!’

‘What the hell does that mean?’ Miller inquired. 

Bellamy snorted at the question, ‘God guys, for a bunch of scientists, lawyers and cops you aren’t that smart. Well I would hope that if I proposed to someone I would actually know.’ 

A rather extensive list of swear words bounced about the room, as everyone realised what he had insinuated. 

‘Oh’ 

‘Oh, Ohhh, Ohhhhhhh fuck … but you, she … what? How?’ Raven asked. 

Octavia narrowed her eyes at Bellamy, ‘Ok, right so this is what’s going to happen. I am going to order Dominos for everyone and once the pizzas arrived and the popcorn is distributed we are going to play a game. It’s called, we each ask a question and the pair of you two will give us a very detailed answer, then we will try and guess whether this is a practical joke. Everyone cool with that?’

Neither Clarke nor Bellamy liked the sound of the new game but they also knew that they didn’t have much of a choice.

If they knew anything it was that it’s going to be one hell of a long evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm not that happy with this chapter and I rewrote it several times but oh well, if I don't upload it now I'll just use it to procrastinate more!! I'm not that familiar with panic attacks because I've only ever really had one or two, so sorry if it's really badly written!
> 
> Hope you like it :)
> 
> P.S. This is what the ring looks like if you want to know
> 
> http://mdcdiamonds.com/images/ProductImages/ES1103-1.jpg

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! Hope you like it, sorry it's probably really crap but I am in the middle of my AS and I have physics tommorrow so I'm sorta dying and procrastinating. I know this scenario is probably a bit unrealistic but I thought it might be fun to write :) 
> 
> Feedback and comments are great! I'm always happy to hear what I could do to improve (but don't be a bitch) and what you guys like! 
> 
> I don't know when the next chapter will be up but I swear I will try to update as soon as possible!


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